I’ve been a bit offline lately…both on here, on my social stuff and on and off with communications with friends. I felt like I needed some time to assess everything and a bit of time out – I could feel a change coming and knew I needed space for it. Actually, I still do need that time and space, so this may be my last post for a while. And with this offline mode, I’ve had a chance to think about where I am, where I’ve been, what I want. BIG thinking, I know!
For the last few months I’ve been moving around a lot with work and living, and it’s left me feeling a little unsettled. I’ve lived abroad and travelled a lot in the last couple of years and I’m missing some roots, some grounding. I’ve had so many amazing experiences and my life has been such a fun whirlwind and I wouldn’t change it for anything. But I’m starting to feel like maybe it’s time to have a base, settle for a little while in one place, put down some roots once more. Maybe it’s time for a little bit of ‘normality’ – whatever that means. Change is constant in life, and I’m so aware of this and have written about it before, but sometimes change can be going back to a familiar lifestyle, it can be changing to something with some stability and structure. And that is what I’m craving. And if I’ve learnt anything, you have to do what feels right to you – no matter what anyone else thinks.
Something I need is a place I can call home for a while. Time and space to get my head and life sorted, time to spend with my amazing friends, time to reassess everything that I’ve done and where I’m going, and time to take care of myself. I’ve been worried that this decision would be the wrong one (although everyone keeps reminding me nothing is permanent!), but I think that was partly because I felt like a failure if I didn’t keep travelling and living the nomadic teacher lifestyle. But actually, it’s only me that thinks that way. So instead of worrying what others things – and instead of believing people see me as a failure (which I’m fairly sure they don’t) – I actually need to change my own perceptions about myself. Instead, I’ve come to realise that it’s important to know when to re-evaluate things and take steps to realign yourself. And this in itself is taking a risk and making a change, it’s just a more subtle but still ever powerful one.
So that concludes my slightly rambling thoughts for now – normally I realise I’m more concise but I think this fairly represents my jumbled brain at this present moment. And now it’s time to settle for a bit, rediscover my groove and get back to what is most important to me. Time for a place to call home…