A place to call home

I’ve been a bit offline lately…both on here, on my social stuff and on and off with communications with friends. I felt like I needed some time to assess everything and a bit of time out – I could feel a change coming and knew I needed space for it. Actually, I still do need that time and space, so this may be my last post for a while. And with this offline mode, I’ve had a chance to think about where I am, where I’ve been, what I want. BIG thinking, I know!

For the last few months I’ve been moving around a lot with work and living, and it’s left me feeling a little unsettled. I’ve lived abroad and travelled a lot in the last couple of years and I’m missing some roots, some grounding. I’ve had so many amazing experiences and my life has been such a fun whirlwind and I wouldn’t change it for anything. But I’m starting to feel like maybe it’s time to have a base, settle for a little while in one place, put down some roots once more. Maybe it’s time for a little bit of ‘normality’ – whatever that means. Change is constant in life, and I’m so aware of this and have written about it before, but sometimes change can be going back to a familiar lifestyle, it can be changing to something with some stability and structure. And that is what I’m craving. And if I’ve learnt anything, you have to do what feels right to you – no matter what anyone else thinks.

Something I need is a place I can call home for a while. Time and space to get my head and life sorted, time to spend with my amazing friends, time to reassess everything that I’ve done and where I’m going, and time to take care of myself. I’ve been worried that this decision would be the wrong one (although everyone keeps reminding me nothing is permanent!), but I think that was partly because I felt like a failure if I didn’t keep travelling and living the nomadic teacher lifestyle. But actually, it’s only me that thinks that way. So instead of worrying what others things – and instead of believing people see me as a failure (which I’m fairly sure they don’t) – I actually need to change my own perceptions about myself. Instead, I’ve come to realise that it’s important to know when to re-evaluate things and take steps to realign yourself. And this in itself is taking a risk and making a change, it’s just a more subtle but still ever powerful one.

So that concludes my slightly rambling thoughts for now – normally I realise I’m more concise but I think this fairly represents my jumbled brain at this present moment. And now it’s time to settle for a bit, rediscover my groove and get back to what is most important to me. Time for a place to call home…

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Feeding your soul

The last few weeks have been hectic – trying to get my life sorted, teaching classes all over London, juggling social and work commitments and trying to find time for myself. I felt like I was struggling to find a balance and was neglecting myself and what my soul needed. I thought this was yoga, as often the physical practice grounds me and makes me feel calm. And to a degree it was the physical asanas I was missing. But over the last couple of days I still have done barely any practice, yet something has shifted. And I’ve realised there is more than one way to feed your soul and give it what it needs – you just need to work out what.

Over the last 2-3 days, I have reconnected with myself and brought more peace to myself partly by making sure I have time alone to ground and do work and not get so distracted. But I think the main thing is that I have surrounded myself with loving people. I have FaceTimed with 3 people who are very dear to me that live in Morocco, and I hadn’t properly spoken to them in a long time – they all understand and support me and make me feel happy and loved. I have also spent time with friends that I haven’t seen for a while, and also with people I see super regularly but who always lift me up. I have also messaged friends I love dearly and have a list in my head of a few others I desperately want to talk to.

And after doing all this, I took myself to my mat this afternoon for a quick practice, and something had shifted. The physical movement still felt amazing and helped me to centre myself even more, but because I have taken time to talk to people and feel loved, I felt at one with my body again (it’s been a while). I felt more connected to myself, I moved easier and freer, I was more open and able to listen to my body and to what it needed.

So that’s what I need to keep doing. I need to keep on my physical and spiritual yoga path, but I also need to remind myself that I have an incredible community of people around me who build me up and help to calm my soul. I shouldn’t shut them out when things get tough or I get frustrated – I should actually make more of an effort to connect with them. And to remind myself that balance does include time alone, but it also includes time with others. To all my friends – I love you and you know who you are.

The future is calling

It’s all out there right now – new year, new you/change your life in the new year, etc. While I don’t necessarily like all of this as I don’t think you need a new year to make a change, and I also don’t think there’s anything wrong with the old you (it’s more about accepting who you are than needing to change), I do think there are merits to it as it often pushes people – me included – to evaluate what you want and what future goals might be.

So it’s time to look back and review what has been, learn from it and let it go. And it’s also time to look forward, to see what could be coming your way or what you might want in your future. Which is what I’ve been doing the past week. I took a bit of a digital detox until the other day to give myself a break, and during this time I thought a lot and wrote things down and meditated and gave myself the time to evaluate and to dream. Now I am done with looking back and am firmly looking forward. There is a lot I could do with my future and I am excited for that! I am so proud of how far I’ve come and can’t wait for my next adventures. I’ve decided to put myself out there a bit and have launched my first yoga retreat (if you’re interested you can find out the info at http://www.hayleystatter.com/retreats), so we will see what happens! It’s one of the many things I’m doing to look forward and to try to achieve new things and push myself.

I think this time of year is also really good for clearing energies, as a part of starting afresh. So I have spent some time clearing negative energies from my mind and body, assessing patterns and behaviours in myself and beginning to change ones that aren’t good for me. I have also been dealing with old issues so that I can move forward strongly and without being held back by them. I think these kind of actions are important for us all to do so that we can keep striving for our future, as well as being happy and content in the present. It doesn’t happen overnight and I am still working through some of it, but I know that ultimately it will do me so much good when it is done.

So here is to saying goodbye to 2017, and any other things in the past that have altered us, and saying hello to the exciting world that lays before us.

 

 

Taking some time.

Recently I’ve been stressing and rushing around and trying to do everything and trying to figure things out for right now and for my future. I’ve had so many thoughts in my head and have been doing so much and thinking about everything all at once. So much so, I lost my way a little. And then I watched something that made me realise I need to just take some time for myself, to be present and just give myself some time and space. And then I went to a yoga class (first time in a studio for a couple of weeks) and it was the first time in so long I felt present in my body and my practice, not thinking about other things or criticising myself or worrying, just being. It felt amazing. And it reminded me that I do need to give myself some time.

I need to not constantly stress, because that doesn’t do me any good. I need to slow my thoughts down sometimes, to give my head space to relax. I need to remember to breathe and stop. I need to realise that I don’t need to be constantly doing things or seeing people, that it’s good to be alone and to remind myself I actually love being alone and doing my own thing (reading, resting, practicing yoga, cooking, anything). Because once I get back to that place where I am happy and relaxed, not rushing around or worrying all the time, I know I’m a better person to be around and then I can truly give things and people around me time and attention.

In learning to be in the present moment, which is something yoga teaches people, I can stop worrying about the future or living in the past. Being present allows you to listen to yourself, to others around you, and to create experiences and memories that make you feel warm and content. When I’m not worrying about the future, I am more relaxed and can fully apply myself to things. When I’m not living in the past, I’m not playing into old emotions or scenarios.

So for a little while, I’m taking time for me. I’ll still see people and do things and will still make future plans (albeit rough and changeable ones), but I will also take enough time to be alone and to not rush or stress, to truly give myself space and relaxation. It’s something we all need. And there’s no reason not to do it.

The path to patience

Being patient is something I struggle with sometimes. I always want things to happen or move immediately, I don’t like waiting around and at times I find it hard to just sit. I have a mostly yang personality, and since I’ve accepted yoga into my life I have worked to bring in more yin and it has worked and I have slowed down. But still, at times, patience evades me and I forgot that I can’t control or push everything and that I need to just sit.

The last couple of weeks, and especially the last couple of days, have shown that maybe I’ve gotten away from the yin side of my personality and that I need to come back to it. I have been feeling like all I’m doing is sitting and waiting, when in reality the time that has passed has been quite short. So many of us live a yang life and have these personalities – constantly busy and moving and having our brains on the go as soon as we wake until we sleep. We all need to learn to balance out the yang with the yin, to be able to sit and just be. To not have to be constantly doing something or thinking or having something going on. And to realise that things don’t always happen instantaneously…sometimes things take longer and that’s ok, the waiting will be worth it. Sometimes there’s a reason things take time.

I used to be totally yang in my personality and I did learn to balance it out, but that seems to have slipped away since being back in the UK a bit. So I need to get back to being calm and still, letting things happen as and when they need to, being understanding that things aren’t always immediate, and being ok to just sit and wait and be with myself. I am going to practice my yin more, both in my yoga practice and in my mind and headspace. I need to practice patience.

When there is more than one path…

Decisions can be hard. I, for one, am one of the worst decision makers at times – many people will support this fact. I am way better than I used to be, but still at times I am totally thrown. The last few days have been a challenge for me because of this, and it got me to thinking…how do you make a decision when there isn’t a clear answer, when there is more than one path and all routes look promising and could lead to different and interesting things?

I try to follow my heart and my gut as much as I can. But even this has been torn and confused lately. I know I am going through a huge period of change, and I am trying to trust in myself as this happens. And I have had a lot of decisions to make recently, some of which are testing me a lot. As I make the decisions, I feel a sense of relief. Not necessarily because I know I’ve made the right one, but because at least I have picked a path to follow at this moment in time and I can begin to move forward. Because until I make that decision, I am stuck in limbo and simply tormenting myself. So I keep making them and moving forward. Maybe I’m making the wrong ones sometimes, but at least I’m trying things and seeing where it takes me. Otherwise, I can’t develop and I can’t learn and I can’t get to the next place on my journey.

It’s all about learning and trusting that it will work out. If I pick the wrong path, I will learn something from it. And in that sense, it therefore doesn’t make it wrong – no path is wrong because if it isn’t exactly right from us then it shapes us and teaches us. The important thing is to pick a path and begin to go down it. In the end, everything works out as it is meant to. But in not making choices, you are stopping that from happening as you are becoming stuck in a situation or a stage of your journey that is not the end. I know I need to remember all of this now more than ever, and I need to keep reminding myself of this as I continue to move forward in a less than straight direction: my path is winding and has a lot of branches off, so it’s time to explore.

Human kindness is the key

Something I think a lot about is the inherent nature of humans – especially with all that goes on in the world today. And I have come to the conclusion that there is kindness in every single human, I truly believe that. No matter who you are or what you do/what you’ve done, somewhere inside there is kindness. Maybe in some it’s hidden or hasn’t been tapped into for a long time, but I know it’s there.

Some people show kindness in different ways, or only to certain people or things. But ultimately, everyone starts out good and everyone has it in them. This belief is why I choose to see the good in everyone – a trait of mine that I have been told isn’t always good for me, but I still do it. I have to believe that.

Human kindness is so important, even more so now. Showing kindness to others helps you to realise what life is really about, and it also opens up more for other people to be kind to you and others. It makes both the people you’re being kind to, and yourself, feel so much less alone. It creates a sense of togetherness and connectedness that we all desperately need. And if everyone showed kindness if things that they do, things wouldn’t seem so bad. It doesn’t even have to be big acts – small ones can be just as effective and sometimes even more so.

The last few days of me being back home for a visit have shown me how great it can be. With the terrible things that have happened in the UK lately, everyone seems more aware of each other and I’ve noticed so many kind acts. And my friends have all been so wonderful to me – I know they always have been but I’ve noticed it more as I’m more aware of it. I know so many people with huge, generous hearts and this fills me with warmth and gratitude. And if their acts of kindness can make such a difference to me, imagine what yours could do for others. Because you really have no idea what some people are going through, and being kind could totally change their day without you even realising it.

So I will continue to promote kindness through my acts, and continue to believe that there is kindness somewhere in everyone. It helps make the world a slightly better place.

 

Evolve and learn and fourish

We are always changing. Whether we realise it or not, change is part of us all, every single day. Some of the changes are barely noticeable, others are monumentous. Change can be scary, it can be tough, it can be horrible, it can be amazing. But it is necessary. Because it we aren’t changing, it we aren’t evolving, we are stuck. Stuck as the same person, stuck with the same views and experiences and in the same body and in the same life – and that would be an awful thing. If from this moment on, you were never allowed to change again at all, it would be the most unnatural thing.

As we change and develop, we learn. And learning is a beautiful thing. Expanding your knowledge or your experience, learning about other things or about yourself, makes life so much more rich and interesting. And through learning, you flourish. You grow into an even better version of yourself.

Lately I’ve been going through a lot of change. On a personal level, I am physically changing, and I am mentally changing dramatically. My view on things has altered massively, my view on myself is changing, my mental state is evolving and I am learning so much about myself and about other things. My thirst for knowledge is constantly growing and my thirst for change is growing with it. I am revelling in it all – I am such a different person compared to who I was a year ago and I so so proud of that. The changes I am going through have made me who I am today and I love who I am today, no apologies. On a professional level I’m also changing, as my teaching continues to improve and my yoga knowledge is constantly growing. I am now a Reiki practitioner as well, and will soon be fully trained in Swedish Body Massage. My skills are refining both in these senses and in my writing and marketing capacities too. And all of this is because of our ability to constantly develop.

Not all the changes I’ve been through are ones I’ve welcomed readily, and it’s been a struggle at times. But looking back, I’m so glad they all happened. So even though change is scary and unknown, and not always what you wanted or expected, don’t try and stop it. Accept it for whatever it is, and try to ride it. Because you will come out the other side an even more beautiful and amazing version of you.

Feeling lucky for everyday life

I am lucky. For so many reasons. Over the past week I have come to realise how true this is. I have amazing people around me in Morocco that are supportive and caring, and keep me entertained when I’m bored or talk to me when I’m down or check on me to make sure I’m ok after getting my first surfing injury and stitches. I also have amazing friends far away, who always cheer me up when I talk to them and remember why I love them. I have a brilliant family who have always been there and are still around and healthy. I have my health and I have a good job and a pretty lovely life. And I also have so many exciting potentials in my future. So many opportunities that I know many people would love to have but don’t.

So I know I’m lucky…I know that I have lots of good things in my life. And lately I just keep being reminded of that. Even getting hit on the head by a surfboard just made me appreciate things even more – a new outlook for me! A lot of people know that maybe 6 months ago it would have shaken me badly and I would have been pretty upset, but instead I took it in my stride and carried on smiling as always. Because I know I have so much to be grateful for. And now I have a war wound to talk about!

I know as I get older, there will be more tragedies that affect the lives of my friends and family, and of myself. I already know that some of the people I care about have had to go through a lot, especially lately, and there is nothing we can do to stop this or change it. It is just a part of life and of growing older. As I look towards my impending birthday and the shift of moving from my 20s to my 30s, I know that life keeps changing and moving and we have to move with it. We have to accept the bad and appreciate the good, and realise that we have so much to be grateful for. So this year, I think my outlook will just be appreciation for all the good, and acceptance of the not so good. But remembering how lucky I am.

Just slow down…

Sometimes, we all need to slow down a little. To listen to our bodies, to our heads, to our hearts. Slowing down allows us to take stock, to assess where we are and where we’re going, to check in with our emotions and our health. It also allows us to appreciate everything that is around us and everything that we have.

I have been forced to slow down as I deal with a back injury, and it has reminded me that I need to listen to myself a bit more and allow myself the space to breathe and relax. Lately I have been thinking too much, putting pressure on myself and not giving myself time to just be. I have been worrying about what I’m doing next, if I’m in the right place now: I’ve been ignoring my health and not dealing with my head and my heart enough. So it’s time to slow down. To appreciate where I am and the life I have. To be thankful for my body and my mind and for the friends I have around me. To take the time to be creative. try different things, or try just doing nothing. To stop putting off all the little things on my list I need to do. To get back to my healthy eating and taking care of myself.

And once my body has healed itself, I can get back to my life and the things I love that I currently can’t do. But hopefully when that does happen, I’ll take with me some learnings from this time and make sure I take the time to slow down regularly and assess everything. I think everyone needs and deserves to slow down sometimes. Maybe give it a try…