I have just returned from a short break back to Morocco, where I got to see some old friends and bury some demons, and also take a little bit of time to slow down and enjoy life. And now I’m back, I have realised how much I have changed from who I was before I moved there.
Now I’m back in London, I notice how easy it is to fill up my schedule and rush from place to place. But I also know this isn’t good for me, and there is really no need to live like that. Going back to Morocco has reminded me to slow down, to not rush and not put so much pressure on myself to do everything or see everyone or plan my life a month in advance (I know a month isn’t a lot for some people but for the past 15 months I haven’t planned that much!). It also taught me to take time to see the people I care about, and that those who fall in that category and those that show they care about me are the ones to hold onto. They are the real gems – the ones that will see you through the rough times and have fun with you in the good times. Any maybe you aren’t always in constant contact with them, but they’re still special. I am lucky to still have a support network in Morocco and people I call close friends. From this trip, I have reminded myself how much I appreciate these people (both those in Morocco, as well as all my other amazing friends across the world) – and also how much I love and appreciate nature. In London, you don’t get that much of it, and we are so often rushing around with our heads down. But in Morocco, I had so much time to appreciate the sunsets I love, the beaches, the oceans, everything. And I’m not going to come away from this again.
So now I’m back, I want to make sure I retain who I was in Morocco and Spain and not revert back to the person I can sometimes be when I’m in London. I’m nowhere near as much of a planner or control freak as I was before things changed in my life, but I still don’t want to slip back into old habits. I don’t need to plan everything out, I need to see what happens and go with it as things can change so quickly anyway. I need to remember to relax and take time for me, to do the things I want to do and see who I want to see but not feel pressured to do everything and also make sure I am having real time for myself. I know that especially at this time of year it is hard to do, but it is also important. It’s about staying true to yourself and what is best for you.
I feel lucky I got to go back for a visit and know I will again soon. I am so grateful I got to exorcise some ghosts and connect with amazing people. And I am so happy I got to jump in the ocean and soak up some sun! These are the things I miss the most – the people, the ocean, the sun, the relaxed attitude to life and the calmness you can find there if you know where to look. Now it’s time to try and bring a little bit of that into whatever I do now.