Muddy shoes and a grateful heart (for my Dreamsea family)

Sometimes the unexpected situations, the things you didn’t see coming, are the ones that can teach you the most and help you make so many realisations. The last couple of months I’ve been away from this blog and have been making new memories with an amazing group of people in Spain – my Dreamsea family. Each one of them is unique and beautiful in their own way, and I have learnt so much from them all. And I now have a whole new group of people that have helped me grow and will continue to be an influence in my life.

Going to work in Spain was one of those unexpected situations – it all happened suddenly and was a snap decision I made that turned out to be just what I needed. I had highs and lows there, but overall the experience has given me a fresh perspective on who I am, where I want to go, what I want to do and ultimately the kind of person I am and the kind of person I want to be. It has made me realise some of my less than desirable traits (which I would like to change and am going to work towards), it has shown me there are parts of me that I really want to work on and past experiences that I want to deal with, and it has also taught me the things I love about myself and about what I do and the life I have chosen. It has also given me the chance to show my love to a new group of friends – which I am ever grateful for – and reminded me of how incredible the friends I already have are, as they are constantly supportive and always there.

I am sure I would have come to all of this in time, but the catalyst of my camping life gave it to me in just the way I needed. So going away, unplugging from things (and people), and taking time in a different situation was exactly the right thing for me. It has given me a buzz for things again, a new excitement and a world of opportunities – plus a hunger for more. So thank you to everyone who has been part of my life the last few months, and also those who have been around a lot longer (you know who you are). I cannot wait to start out again on a new adventure, to continue growing as a person and also to see my wonderful Dreamsea family again soon.

Taking control

For anyone that has read my blog for a while, or anyone who knows me, you know I always come back to my issue of making decisions. I tend to be unsure at times, and I often ask so many other people what they think before I make the decision (even if I don’t always listen to what other people think). It is a part of me that frustrates me each time I struggle with decisions, as I know at times I can do them alone and other times I can’t.

I like to think that lately I have become a little better at it. And it the last few days I have realised that when the decision is entirely right for me, I don’t ask for opinions of others. Maybe when I’m confused or ask for guidance, it’s because the right path isn’t clear. But very recently I have made a decision about the next step in my life – and I made it entirely alone. In my head I already knew what I wanted and I knew what was right for me, what would make me happy. So when the opportunity came up, even though it was against the plans I’d made for myself for the next few months and it may be against the more logical and sensible options for me, it still felt right and it took me no time at all to make the decision. And as soon as it was made, I felt calm and at peace. I haven’t questioned it once, I’ve just done it.

I felt similar about my decision to quit my job and move to Morocco a year ago. And again I’m reminded that if it feels right to me, it probably is. Sure it might not work out how I think, or it might not be the most sensible option, but that’s ok. It’s not like I’m exactly sensible a lot of the time anyway!

So I’m jumping into this new adventure with an open heart and an open mind. And hopefully with the ability to recognise what decisions are right for me and with the trust that it’s all meant to be just the way it is. Here goes!

The path to patience

Being patient is something I struggle with sometimes. I always want things to happen or move immediately, I don’t like waiting around and at times I find it hard to just sit. I have a mostly yang personality, and since I’ve accepted yoga into my life I have worked to bring in more yin and it has worked and I have slowed down. But still, at times, patience evades me and I forgot that I can’t control or push everything and that I need to just sit.

The last couple of weeks, and especially the last couple of days, have shown that maybe I’ve gotten away from the yin side of my personality and that I need to come back to it. I have been feeling like all I’m doing is sitting and waiting, when in reality the time that has passed has been quite short. So many of us live a yang life and have these personalities – constantly busy and moving and having our brains on the go as soon as we wake until we sleep. We all need to learn to balance out the yang with the yin, to be able to sit and just be. To not have to be constantly doing something or thinking or having something going on. And to realise that things don’t always happen instantaneously…sometimes things take longer and that’s ok, the waiting will be worth it. Sometimes there’s a reason things take time.

I used to be totally yang in my personality and I did learn to balance it out, but that seems to have slipped away since being back in the UK a bit. So I need to get back to being calm and still, letting things happen as and when they need to, being understanding that things aren’t always immediate, and being ok to just sit and wait and be with myself. I am going to practice my yin more, both in my yoga practice and in my mind and headspace. I need to practice patience.

When there is more than one path…

Decisions can be hard. I, for one, am one of the worst decision makers at times – many people will support this fact. I am way better than I used to be, but still at times I am totally thrown. The last few days have been a challenge for me because of this, and it got me to thinking…how do you make a decision when there isn’t a clear answer, when there is more than one path and all routes look promising and could lead to different and interesting things?

I try to follow my heart and my gut as much as I can. But even this has been torn and confused lately. I know I am going through a huge period of change, and I am trying to trust in myself as this happens. And I have had a lot of decisions to make recently, some of which are testing me a lot. As I make the decisions, I feel a sense of relief. Not necessarily because I know I’ve made the right one, but because at least I have picked a path to follow at this moment in time and I can begin to move forward. Because until I make that decision, I am stuck in limbo and simply tormenting myself. So I keep making them and moving forward. Maybe I’m making the wrong ones sometimes, but at least I’m trying things and seeing where it takes me. Otherwise, I can’t develop and I can’t learn and I can’t get to the next place on my journey.

It’s all about learning and trusting that it will work out. If I pick the wrong path, I will learn something from it. And in that sense, it therefore doesn’t make it wrong – no path is wrong because if it isn’t exactly right from us then it shapes us and teaches us. The important thing is to pick a path and begin to go down it. In the end, everything works out as it is meant to. But in not making choices, you are stopping that from happening as you are becoming stuck in a situation or a stage of your journey that is not the end. I know I need to remember all of this now more than ever, and I need to keep reminding myself of this as I continue to move forward in a less than straight direction: my path is winding and has a lot of branches off, so it’s time to explore.

Unrivalled potential

Human potential. We all have it. It is unmeasurable, without borders, a mass of so much. And yet it is so often ignored or suffocated or pushed aside. And most commonly, it is simply unrecognised.

I recently had a great discussion with someone I haven’t seen for a while, and one of the things we touched on was human potential. It really got me thinking, as conversations with him often do! We all have the potential to be great, to do more, to be even better versions of ourselves. We can all continuously learn and develop, and nourish our thoughts and ideas. But so often the more extravagant thoughts are ignored or laughed at, and great ideas are often kept in heads or in imagination rather than being put into reality. So many people’s true potential is unrealised, and that is such a shame. They are missing out on so much, and so are the people around them. Everyone’s potential is unrivalled because of our uniqueness, and that is a truly wonderful thing.

I think people find it hard to grasp exactly what human potential means sometimes, or just how vast it really is. There are so many of us that don’t realise our full potential, don’t realise how great we are and how much is inside of us. And it doesn’t have to be the potential to save lives or come up with a cure for an awful disease or bring world peace, but we do all have potential to be great in our own way. So why wouldn’t we push ourselves and release what is inside of us? Maybe it’s hidden really deep or maybe it is wrapped up with things we never thought we’d verbalise – but by hiding our true potential we are doing ourselves a great injustice. Whether people realise it or not, we can all be great.

Human kindness is the key

Something I think a lot about is the inherent nature of humans – especially with all that goes on in the world today. And I have come to the conclusion that there is kindness in every single human, I truly believe that. No matter who you are or what you do/what you’ve done, somewhere inside there is kindness. Maybe in some it’s hidden or hasn’t been tapped into for a long time, but I know it’s there.

Some people show kindness in different ways, or only to certain people or things. But ultimately, everyone starts out good and everyone has it in them. This belief is why I choose to see the good in everyone – a trait of mine that I have been told isn’t always good for me, but I still do it. I have to believe that.

Human kindness is so important, even more so now. Showing kindness to others helps you to realise what life is really about, and it also opens up more for other people to be kind to you and others. It makes both the people you’re being kind to, and yourself, feel so much less alone. It creates a sense of togetherness and connectedness that we all desperately need. And if everyone showed kindness if things that they do, things wouldn’t seem so bad. It doesn’t even have to be big acts – small ones can be just as effective and sometimes even more so.

The last few days of me being back home for a visit have shown me how great it can be. With the terrible things that have happened in the UK lately, everyone seems more aware of each other and I’ve noticed so many kind acts. And my friends have all been so wonderful to me – I know they always have been but I’ve noticed it more as I’m more aware of it. I know so many people with huge, generous hearts and this fills me with warmth and gratitude. And if their acts of kindness can make such a difference to me, imagine what yours could do for others. Because you really have no idea what some people are going through, and being kind could totally change their day without you even realising it.

So I will continue to promote kindness through my acts, and continue to believe that there is kindness somewhere in everyone. It helps make the world a slightly better place.


Evolve and learn and fourish

We are always changing. Whether we realise it or not, change is part of us all, every single day. Some of the changes are barely noticeable, others are monumentous. Change can be scary, it can be tough, it can be horrible, it can be amazing. But it is necessary. Because it we aren’t changing, it we aren’t evolving, we are stuck. Stuck as the same person, stuck with the same views and experiences and in the same body and in the same life – and that would be an awful thing. If from this moment on, you were never allowed to change again at all, it would be the most unnatural thing.

As we change and develop, we learn. And learning is a beautiful thing. Expanding your knowledge or your experience, learning about other things or about yourself, makes life so much more rich and interesting. And through learning, you flourish. You grow into an even better version of yourself.

Lately I’ve been going through a lot of change. On a personal level, I am physically changing, and I am mentally changing dramatically. My view on things has altered massively, my view on myself is changing, my mental state is evolving and I am learning so much about myself and about other things. My thirst for knowledge is constantly growing and my thirst for change is growing with it. I am revelling in it all – I am such a different person compared to who I was a year ago and I so so proud of that. The changes I am going through have made me who I am today and I love who I am today, no apologies. On a professional level I’m also changing, as my teaching continues to improve and my yoga knowledge is constantly growing. I am now a Reiki practitioner as well, and will soon be fully trained in Swedish Body Massage. My skills are refining both in these senses and in my writing and marketing capacities too. And all of this is because of our ability to constantly develop.

Not all the changes I’ve been through are ones I’ve welcomed readily, and it’s been a struggle at times. But looking back, I’m so glad they all happened. So even though change is scary and unknown, and not always what you wanted or expected, don’t try and stop it. Accept it for whatever it is, and try to ride it. Because you will come out the other side an even more beautiful and amazing version of you.

Finding solid ground

With all the struggling that so many people have to find somewhere they feel comfortable and happy, to make somewhere a home, to feel grounded in what they are doing and who they are with and where they live, I think we can sometimes overlook what is most important. Even if we find ourselves settled and content in all of these areas, we ultimately need to feel grounded in ourselves.

Because in the end, if you are grounded in yourself, you’re most of the way there. And then wherever you go and whoever you meet, you still feel a sense of togetherness and calmness. If you are grounded in who you are, you are unshakeable and can get through most things. You can be confident in where you’re headed, or in not being headed anywhere and just going with the flow.

The last few weeks have helped me come to this realisation, and to finally feel grounded in myself. And now I am. I feel comfortable in who I am and what I’m doing, and although I don’t really have a plan yet, I’m ok with that. A little trip to Amsterdam to visit a friend gave me the space to breathe and to be anonymous in a city again, to have no expectations put on me and to have no one know me or question me. It meant I could clear my head, make some decisions and some realisations, and gave me the chance to reflect on everything that has happened since I made the decision to leave my London life and try something different. And as a result I rediscovered myself a little, so that now I can face whatever I decide to do next with a confidence and a relaxed attitude that maybe I didn’t have before.

So from experience, I really think we need to be grounded in ourselves more than anything else. Which means I will keep checking in to make sure that is what I’m doing, and to make sure that if I ever feel like I’m not grounded again, I take the time in invest in myself and find my way back.

A new era…

I’ve been quiet on this blog for a little while…partly because I’ve had a lot of stuff I’ve needed to sort out and partly because I wanted a break, and then there’s also that little bit of me that procrastinates too much! In the last month or so I’ve had a lot of thinking to do and some decisions to make (which I haven’t yet made but oh well). And then I turned 30.

Suddenly, I’m in a whole new decade of my life. It crept up and before I knew it, my 20s were done with. So while I’ve had a lot of thinking to do and things on my mind, I realised that subconsciously I’ve been preparing for a new phase in my life. A little while ago I made the decision to leave the UK and live in Morocco for a bit, and I decided I didn’t want my 9-5 job in London anymore. And now I’m starting to think about what I might want to do next, maybe not immediately but at some point in the future. This has coincided with my birthday and it has all come together to show me that I have a future that is wide open to me. A friend advised me to sit with it all for a bit and not make any decisions quickly, so that’s what I’m doing. I think this possibly signifies me finally relaxing into who I am and what I might do, and maybe I’m finally growing up?! It has helped me to see that I can be a calmer and more relaxed person, that things will come to you when they are meant to if you let them, and that I have entered a new phase of my life quite subtly.

It has also given me the time to reflect on my 20s – it was a decade where so many things happened and through those years I have changed completely as a person. It is so nice to be able to look back and see how far I’ve come. I can look at everything more objectively now, and appreciate all that happened as it has all lead me to where I am today. So I’m going to ease into my 30s, take things slowly and see what happens. And so far, I’m quite liking this decade!

Feeling lucky for everyday life

I am lucky. For so many reasons. Over the past week I have come to realise how true this is. I have amazing people around me in Morocco that are supportive and caring, and keep me entertained when I’m bored or talk to me when I’m down or check on me to make sure I’m ok after getting my first surfing injury and stitches. I also have amazing friends far away, who always cheer me up when I talk to them and remember why I love them. I have a brilliant family who have always been there and are still around and healthy. I have my health and I have a good job and a pretty lovely life. And I also have so many exciting potentials in my future. So many opportunities that I know many people would love to have but don’t.

So I know I’m lucky…I know that I have lots of good things in my life. And lately I just keep being reminded of that. Even getting hit on the head by a surfboard just made me appreciate things even more – a new outlook for me! A lot of people know that maybe 6 months ago it would have shaken me badly and I would have been pretty upset, but instead I took it in my stride and carried on smiling as always. Because I know I have so much to be grateful for. And now I have a war wound to talk about!

I know as I get older, there will be more tragedies that affect the lives of my friends and family, and of myself. I already know that some of the people I care about have had to go through a lot, especially lately, and there is nothing we can do to stop this or change it. It is just a part of life and of growing older. As I look towards my impending birthday and the shift of moving from my 20s to my 30s, I know that life keeps changing and moving and we have to move with it. We have to accept the bad and appreciate the good, and realise that we have so much to be grateful for. So this year, I think my outlook will just be appreciation for all the good, and acceptance of the not so good. But remembering how lucky I am.